apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
