Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Walk of Shame today included voting.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize