Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
