I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
