Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
