Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
