I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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