I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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