I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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