Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
