Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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