I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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