I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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