She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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