her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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