yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
