you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
