My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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