I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Found your dick twin last night
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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