Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
