i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
he was CRYING into my vagina
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
