I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
