I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
