how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Randomize
