I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
