It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Everclear isn't food dammit
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
