did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Mom said you looked used
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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