I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
