I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
