The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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