Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
