I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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