So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Randomize
