i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
