I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
