I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Randomize
