North Korea, Best Korea!
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
