areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
