is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
