Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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