I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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