Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i just had sex bonerless
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
