I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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