Do vagina's smell?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
