I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
