Screwed.edu
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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