she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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