He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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