But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
zippers are such a cool invention
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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