Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
A bitchslap is in order.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
