he wants to bone in the snuggie
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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