i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
