Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Randomize
