I want to have your abortion
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
