i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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