I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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