You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
