4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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