i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Shame is for Republicans.
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